


i am just a fool

by donghyvk



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Crush, donghyuck loves mark, the feeling isn't returned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 17:10:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19277731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donghyvk/pseuds/donghyvk
Summary: donghyuck loves mark, he thought his feelings were returned.they weren't.





	i am just a fool

what did all the other boys have that donghyuck didn’t? what made them so special compared to himself, why did they get all the attention? why were they loved, adored, yet donghyuck was just pushed to the side? it’d been this way for years – donghyuck’s relationship with mark was deeper than a friendship, deeper than romance. or at least that was how the younger boy thought of it.

he always lived in a blissful world, where mark felt the same about him. he honestly did believe mark felt the same, the way he acted when it was just the two of them – the things they said to each other. how even if the group didn’t work out, they wanted to be together for the rest of their lives. surely that meant something? mark would blow off the others to spend time with donghyuck, snuggling under the covers and giggling about dumb viral videos.

but he was wrong. that quickly became evident, he couldn’t have been more wrong about mark’s feelings.

_“renjun, you know i don’t think of hyuck like that. he’s just like – an annoying little brother, you know? you don’t really want him around but he’ll throw a fit and tell your parents if you don’t hang out with him. you’re the one i want.”_

donghyuck’s smile fell as the heard the conversation happening in mark’s bedroom, he’d brought the other food for the two of them to share. it was their planned movie night, after all. typically right now they’d be together, cuddled under the covers but donghyuck decided to postpone it to surprise mark with his favourite takeaways. he’d gotten home a bit earlier than expected, and thought he’d just go straight to mark’s room. a decision he really wished he hadn’t made.

_“what – do you hate him? you know i don’t buy that mark, the way you look at him… even when he’s not looking! there’s no way that it’s j-“_

renjun’s voiced cut off abruptly, and donghyuck really couldn’t figure out what was going on in that room. it wasn’t until he heard the distinct sound of kissing he understood. mark. renjun. they were kissing.

_“i like you. i don’t like him; i wouldn’t ever like him. yeah – i look at him like he’s my precious little brother, because that’s what he is to me. he’s just a brother, and he won’t ever be anything else. he’s nothing to me renjun, nothing.”_

donghyuck’s knees failed him, as he fell to the floor with a soft thud. this caught the two boy’s attention, the food donghyuck had bought for mark and himself spilling all over the floor. it’d caught the older member’s attention as well, soon the majority of the 127 members were crowded around the youngest boy. his eyes flooding with tears as he tried to take in what he’d heard, he was nothing to mark. he thought they’d had something, that their friendship was more than that. _soulmates_ , he wanted to be that, he wanted to be mark’s. but those hopes and dreams had all come crashing down.

“donghyuck – fuck, i. how long were you out there?” mark questioned, crouching down to put his hand on the younger boy’s shoulder. “don’t fucking touch me!” donghyuck spat in response, pushing mark off of him with such force the other boy fell to the floor. “you’re a liar! i hate you!” donghyuck couldn’t stop the tears that began falling from his eyes, taeyong taking the move to stand by donghyuck’s side.

“hyuck, tell us what happened… you and mark are the best of friends, we don’t want you two to be fighting.”

“no we’re not! we’re not best friends! he – he said he doesn’t want me around, and that i’m nothing to him. he – he kissed renjun… he kissed him,” donghyuck’s words trailed off, looking over into marks eyes, “you told me we were soulmates! that – that we’d be together forever and you loved me. but now you’re saying i’m nothing to you, and you don’t want to be near me? why’d you have to lie to me… why’d you do this to me?”

mark couldn’t respond, he didn’t know what he was meant to say in this situation. he knew maybe he’d acted a little _too_ friendly with donghyuck from time to time, but that was all it was. he never thought the younger boy had taken it as something more than just being friends. he thought it was just innocent fun with his best friend, but the things he said about donghyuck he couldn’t justify.

at this point, donghyuck was sobbing, having curled himself up into a ball. he didn’t want the members to be here, he didn’t want them to look at him. everyone knew about donghyuck’s crush on mark, it wasn’t something he ever tried to hide. he never thought he had to hide it, he thought that his feelings were returned.

“mark, did you really say that about donghyuck? that he’s nothing to you, and you don’t want him around?”

johnny was the one to question him, though he loved mark and donghyuck equally a bigger part of him wanted to protect donghyuck. he’d met him when he was so young, and he was always so gullible and trusting. he was so young, so vulnerable – despite not being too much younger than mark, he really acted a lot younger.

“i did, but – but i didn’t mean it! i really didn’t hyuckie, you _know_ i love you! we spend so much time together and you’re my best friend! i love being with you, donghyuck… please, don’t be upset with me baby…”

that pet name, it broke donghyuck’s heart even more. his mouth agape as he stared at the boy he once called his best friend – but after this, how could they ever be best friends? between donghyuck’s unrequited feelings and the things mark said, nothing could ever be the same again.

“don’t… don’t you _dare_ call me that name. i’m not your baby, i will never be your baby. i am not even your friend anymore, mark lee. don’t talk to me anymore, unless it’s for work, i _do not_ want to hear from you.”

donghyuck pulled himself off of the floor, turning on his heels and storming off to the room he shared with jaehyun. he slammed the door behind him, thanking the lords jaehyun wasn’t currently in their room. he hadn’t paid enough attention to what members were huddling around, watching the two youngest argue.

donghyuck felt utterly pathetic, sobbing on the floor, his back leaning against the door. he really thought that mark was the one, that they were going to be together. he never thought that he’d end up with his other friend – renjun… renjun… he knew of donghyuck’s feelings didn’t he? was everyone in on this but donghyuck, was everyone just plotting against him? wanting to break him down? because it had work, he was broken.

he could hear mark talking to him through the door, but nothing was registering in his mind. he couldn’t focus on anything, his mind was racing a million miles a second. his world had come crumbling down in a matter of minutes, the whole ordeal felt like it had lasted hours.

“donghyuck – donghyuck please. i don’t want to lose you over this, i _can’t_ lose you over this. i _won’t_ lose you over this… baby – please. just talk to me? just let me explain everything, let me tell you how much i love you because i do love you. i never lied about how i felt to you – i’m sorry i made you think i was more into you than i am… but please, please…”

donghyuck shut his eyes, for now he didn’t want to listen. anything mark could say was meaningless, none of it mattered. donghyuck was nothing, that was something he could never forget.


End file.
